Category: Psychology

Know Yourself-Love Being Yourself-Don't Lose Yourself-Make the World Better

The mom who remembered

I had known Lisa for nearly three years. There were two counsellors at the school but as luck would have it she had been in my Xgroup (the thing formerly known as Guidance classes) every year so far. She was a quiet child who it seemed chose not to always express herself in the group.…
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So! Are you the scientific (scientistic) psycho- technician, the eschatological secular priest or the abundant and abundant teacher coach

I am reading an article by Greenberg on Emotion Focused Therapy. He introduces the Principles of Emotional Intervention of EFT, explains that experiencing transforming and making sense of emotions is what causes change and then adds at the end of the paragraph that…”it is important to note that these principles are discussed below in relation…
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One man’s bullshit is another man’s pâté de foie gras

A friend was recommended, pressured in my view, to do a life altering personal change weekend recently. The promise was that you will never be the same person again…just give us two days… and a few thousand rand! I am gratified to report that the person is exactly the same person they were prior to…
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How many worlds do you live in?

“I have never been aware before how many faces there are. There are quantities of human beings, but there are many more faces, for each person has several. Rainer Maria Rilke Rainer Maria Rilke- Poets.org  http://www.poets.org/poet.php/prmPID/295 A friend of a friend once proposed a toast to his wife on the occasion of her birthday. To the…
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96, 97, 98, 99, 100…ready or not, I’m coming…..out!

There have been two people who chose to tell me (separately) that they were gay; in fact it sounded more like a question than a statement. It was the first time each of them had disclosed this hitherto unrevealed fact to anyone other than themselves. Diana Ross I’m Coming Out http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QoRBFNOgeHw From the look on their faces I sensed that…
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Life, life is a verb, life is a doing word

I have a friend who did the clinical masters with me, Margaret. After seeing a client for therapy she would very happily trot out of the room nodding her head slowly, reassuringly saying, “There’s movement, as long as there is movement, its good”. Years on she specialises in ‘stuck’ complex issues. Tear drop lyrics – Massive…
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The messages we get in life

It is impossible to not send messages; we are all communicating all the time with or without words, directly or indirectly, intentionally or unintentionally, with awareness or without awareness. The issue is that for some people the words that they hear said about them may not appear to have any negative effects; we are all…
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Repairing the world

Tikkun Olam It is said that the creation of the world was left incomplete, this was done we are told to allow each of us to help complete creation by our constructive actions. Whether one subscribes to that perspective or not few would argue that the world needs as much help as possible. The world…
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How can you know what the child is if she hasn’t emerged yet?

She told me how a couple, friends of hers; newly married had decided that they were going to raise their children “gender free”. As I understand this, it means that they will attempt to raise their children not as boys or girls but as whatever they want to be, free of all biological and or…
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You can be whatever you want to be?

I used to run guidance classes at the school with the kids. I was always intent on pushing the issue of knowing yourself. As part of my attempts to “disturb complacency”, a pivotal concept I was fortunate enough to have learned from Jan Darsa when she visited the school. Jan Darsa | The Covenant Foundation…
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I look, this is what I see

“It’s not what you look at that matters, it’s what you see” Henry David Thoreau I do psychology that is one of the things I do amongst many other things. I try with conscious intent not to say that I am a psychologist (although I often forget to stick to that resolution; I also often…
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Psychologically, how much can a person tolerate?

At university I had a lecturer who taught abnormal psychology. We were sitting in the lecture theatre waiting for him to start talking. Without a word he picked up a piece of chalk, strode to the green board and wrote the word therapist in large letters. He looked back at us, still not speaking and…
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Meditation is not psychotherapy but it is a great coping resource

It is unfortunate that the practice of meditation is generally misunderstood and often scorned. I knew someone who on hearing the mention of the word meditation put his hands together in mocking supplication and intoned ommmm with a supercilious grin on his face. Meditation is a behavioural technique to slow down the level of nervous…
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To be truly happy you need to pirouette with your best friend

Some years ago, it seems to have been dropped, there was an advertisement on South African TV. It opened with a man in a long brown coat and hat walking on a railway platform towards a train that had just pulled in to the station. He walked with lightness, with delight, almost on his toes…
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The psychology of individual differences….40 green bottles hanging on the wall

So a friend told me the story of him and 39 other young men who were in their basic training in the new SANDF. They lived in a barracks all 40 of them. Each had a single size steel bed with a thin foam mattress, two thick grey blankets, two sheets, one pillow with pillow…
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Hearing, meta-hearing & herring

I had to change a bank card number with PayPal today. I sent an email to the contact desk to express my concern that a link to verify my new card was not working. The reply I received was comforting. “I understand that you need help in confirming your new Visa card. I’m sorry if…
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“There is no such thing as freedom.”

An attempt to clarify the meaning of the words freedom and free-will and to place them in a psychological context. Is there a statement more likely to provoke consternation from people than to submit that there is no such thing as freedom? I think not. So why suggest it? Here is Fromm’s quote “Freedom is…
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The psychology of coping

Is a difficult and challenging event inherently stressful or is it experienced as stressful? This important question lies at the heart of understanding how people successfully cope or not. It is evident to all that life throws at us an endless cycle of demands that we are required to attend to and deal with. Some…
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There is nothing new under the sun.

“The thing that hath been, it is that which shall be; and that which is done is that which shall be done; and there is no new thing under the sun”. Ecclesiastes 1:9 Old Testament It might be true that there is nothing new under the sun. Maybe it leads some to cynicism, fatalism and a…
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What does it mean that I must live my potential? 

We are often told to live our potential, but what does this mean and what are some of the elements involved in understanding and living one’s potential and why is it important. I am going to try and answer the question by first looking at a perspective on guilt! Rollo May explains that “guilt is…
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